C. S. Lewis = TACT

I'm planning to relaunch the weekly

C. S. Lewis breakfast reading club
(also known as TACT)

in November as I move to Tehtaankatu. For more information, drop me a note. New members are welcomed too.

Overheard in the Sauna, part 2

I, my father, and our Teemu (9) had a sauna the day before yesterday. Our conversations ranged from hunting to birthdays.

My father: Teemu, do you know how old Vaari [my dad's father] would be today if he was still alive?

Teemu: No. How old would he be?

My father: 89. Who is going to bake a cake for him in heaven?

Teemu: God of course [Jumala tietenkin].

Hardware Score

Cathy and Simon were at K-rauta, the hardware store, today.

They stroll around the busy store with their two children. Joshua (3) is running around and Kayleigh (0.3) is doing her thing. Cathy and Simon see lots of stuff for sale: tools, car parts, kitchen supplies, bathroom artefacts, like toilets.

One toilet in particular catches their eyes.

Joshua is peeing into it.

Overheard in Soukka

My dad drove his grandson Benjamin to Soukka, where Benjy's second set of grandparents live. While they were waiting for the door to be opened, an elderly neighbor-lady took notice and started a conversation.

Neighbor-lady: How old are you?

Benjy: *Shily raises three fingers*

Neighbor-lady: And what is your name?

Benjy: Ben-ja-min.

Neighbor-lady: A great name! Benjamin, you must be bilingual. Do you speak Swedish as well as Finnish?

Benjy: Yes. And English, Swahili and Kenyan too. [Joo... ja myös englantia, swahilia ja keniaa.]

Finnish Police in Vancouver

This was an interesting. The Vancouver Sun reported an incident involving Finland's police hockey team. The headline was: "Fight to the Finnish: Finland's police hockey team halts assault on Vancouver bus driver."

You can read the entire article here. Apparently the Finnish policemen, visiting Vancouver for a police hockey tournament, witnessed a busdriver being mugged. They run after the villain and pinned him to the ground. Vancouver Sun comments: "Surrounded by what looked like odd assortment of fair-complexioned, blue-eyed Canadians, the man was shocked."

"He was very surprised," said Det. Sgt. Antti Karhola. "He had no chance. We felt pretty good about that."

I'm sure they did feel good, considering that they had just been eliminated from the tournament in the first round. But mark my words: this will not happen to the Finnish National Team in the Vancouver Winter Olympics in 2010.

Summer Courses for Men

NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL
OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM

Class 1
How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays--Step by Step.
Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 2
The Toilet Paper Roll--Does It Change Itself?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.

Class 3
Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub?
Group Practice.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor.
Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

Class 5
Dinner Dishes--Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?
Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning At 7:00 PM

Class 6
Loss Of Identity--Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other.
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM

Class 7
Learning How To Find Things--Starting With Looking In The Right Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.
Open Forum.
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.

Class 8
Health Watch--Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health.
Graphics and Audio Tapes.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 9
Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost.
Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.

Class 10
Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?
Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.

Class 11
Learning to Live--Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
On line Classes and role-playing.
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined.

Class 12
How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion.
Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 13
How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy--Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late.
Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 14
The Stove/Oven--What It Is and How It Is Used.
Live Demonstration.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.

Mad Mustang Driver

The other day I got the opportunity to test drive the new Ford Mustang GT coupe. I believe it is the only one in Finland at the moment. My friend Simon won the car (for a test drive, that is) and asked me to join him. Although the "prize" smacked a little of a direct marketing plot (for a fast-cars car rental shop), driving the thing was much fun. I just may have exceeded the speed limit, for a second... Below is a picture of the car. The one we drove was pitch black. I still think that the Audi A5 is the most beautiful sports car out there. It doesn't look fragile like most sports cars do, and it is suprisingly spacious inside.

Can You Fit a Plane in the Trunk?

Indeed you can. While traveling around Tansania you become the witness of some of the most funny scences (and sometimes the not-so-funny ones, like car crashes).

Hmm...how can we get this Cessna from here to there?
Hey, I know! How'bout we take off the wings and put them on the roof, and stick the chassis in the trunk?
*Murmur of agreement*
Abdullah, you are wise.

Notice me with the camera? The mirror broke when someone tried to rip it off. Many mirrors have the car register number carved on it, as you can see, but sometimes even that doesn't keep the thieves at bay.

Daniella, Daniella, Daniella

Happy little girl, eh?


One Sunday afternoonn, Daniella's dad dressed her up all nicely.


While he took photos, her uncle made faces.

Disorientated Bat

One morning we woke up to see a bat hanging upside down from our garage roof. Apparently this fella was a bit disorientated. Not only because it wasn't spending the day in some sea-cliff cave like the rest of his friends, but also because he stayed in that garage, without moving, for three days and three nights. The reason for this is that the garage light was on nonstop, so our poor doubly disorientated bat probably thought it was a very, very long day, and kept waiting for the night to arrive. It did arrive in the form of a power-out and the bat was not seen anymore.

In the evenings you can see tons of bats: they fly out of their hiding places in long, unbroken formations that last for hours. Although these bats are considerably larger than their Scandinavian cousins, we're literally pounds away from the dog-size screaming devils I saw in the jungles of Malaysia.

Grilled Seafood

As we live beside the sea, there are a lot of local fishermen doing their thing from dusk till dawn. They work very hard, sometimes they don't catch anything, sometimes their nets are full. Some time ago Danny bought two kilos of fresh, king-prawns directly from the fishermen. They got a higher profit than normally, but they did all the cleaning up for us. They were big. We grilled them and they tasted delicious.


Unfortunately I don't have a picture. These photos are from Good Friday, our Easter dinner. The one above was taken by Jani Salokangas who came over with his family. It's not lamb, it's beef tender-loin with big chucks of onion, with chicken and baked potatoes. Danny was (and is) the Grill Master. We've been using the grill much more at the new house.

Mystery Bird

My "office" is a roof-sized terrace on top of my brother's house. I spend hours there each day, reading, writing, drinking coffee. Or just chilling, shooting crows, contemplating. The senery is superb: turquoise ocean, white beach, fishing boats, palm trees, and a multitude of different kinds birds.


One of the most beautiful birds that live in the near vicinity is the King Fisher. I still haven't caught it on camera. But there's another bird too, a very pretty one, that is almost always in sight. Here is a couple that were flying around our neighbor's roof top. Who can tell me what bird it is? I cannot recognize the species.

Obligatory Update and Photo

I've been home alone since Monday. Everything's gone extremely well. I put in 8 hours of intense study and writing each day and take it easy in the evenings. Today I saw a movie with Ellam, The Fast and the Furious 4. Not really my "thing", if you know what I mean, but Ellam is into characterless fast pace action movies. (I'm exaggerating.) After finishing this post I intend to walk upstairs to the roof terrace and enjoy a Cuban cigar. The moon is spectacular tonight and it will light up the beach and ocean brilliantly.

I have to finish writing soon, because my battery is dying -- the electricity is out after several days of unproblematic current, and I don't want to use the oversized generator. Anyway, this is just an obligatory update. And this photo is the obligatory photo for the grandparents. Yes you, Grandma and Vaari, Mummi ja Pappa.


Daniella and Benjy love dogs, as you know, although they are also a little afraid of them. In this picture Daniella is meeting Sheba, the blind dog I blogged about last week, for the first time. Daniella is very courageous, as you can see. (I on the other hand am a bit apprehensive, hence Sheba's tight collar. I have a firm grip of it with my hidden right hand, just in case).

Blind Shepherd

This is Sheba. She is our neighbors' German Shepherd. They have another dog, Spot, a white Jack Russell named after the black patch on her back. When you take Sheba (and Spot) with you for a walk or a jog on the beach, Sheba will place herself between you and anyone in the vicinity, a fellow jogger running towards you or any person chilling at the beach. If someone comes too close, Sheba will gently push them away (while on the move). What makes her special is that she is blind.

Shooting Crows

Domestic Tanzanian crows are fine birds. They're like Indian black crows (in the picture) but a bit larger and have white chests. Their Indian cousins, however, are a true menace. Originally imported from India for their "handy" ability to keep the streets clean, or so the story goes, they are simply everywhere nowadays. They're noisy, arrogant, and like most crows extremely intelligent. They're also egg-thieves, as we say in Finnish, for they destroy the nests of smaller birds.


So Danny and I found a new hobby. Crow-shooting. We have an airgun (or bee-bee gun) which we borrowed from a friend. Whoever has used an airgun knows that it's nearly impossible to hit a flying bird. But of my "hits" 25%, three crows in total, have fallen from the sky. I won't say what my total count is though... Danny made an incredible shot today. He hit a flying crow from 15 meters in the eye. But I won't post an illustrative photo for fear of losing friends.

How to Eat an Elephant

This dialogue was from this morning. I was outside reading a 1000-page theological brick and I exchanged polite "goodmornings" with a South African elderly couple.

Couple: Are you studying?

Jason: Yup. I've been quite effective, but it feels like I'm slacking or "skipping class" because of the wonderful atmosphere here -- sun, warmth, birds, you know.

Couple: Do you know what the Africans say about how to eat an elephant?

Jason: No...

Couple: One bite at a time.

Jason: Thanks, I'll try to keep that in mind.

Overheard in Africa

Everyone knows that the English language, in the hands of Chinese, is eternally flexible and entertaining. But English à la Tanzanians comes very close. Here's two examples that I've seen. There are many more.

A note at the airport of Zanzibar:

Our air station is under rehabilitation exercizes. We apologize for inconvenienting you.
--Management

A note on a bank door:

The bank is closed at the moment because it is not open.
--Manager

Thankful For Housework

I used to gripe about the job of doing household chores
But thanks to television news I don't gripe anymore

In every land and country there are people in despair
So now all of my household chores I do with loving care

The dishes and the pots and pans I do on aching feet
I gladly do because it means we have enough to eat

The sheets I change the beds I make no longer do I dread
Because of this it means that we sleep in a nice warm bed

Vacuuming and dusting scrubbing dirty floors and walls
Means there's a roof above my head so I don't mind at all

And then there's dirty laundry endless baskets to attack
But that just means my family has enough clothes on their back

That's why I'm thankful for housework, I'm blessed abunduntly
Compared to others in the world I see on my TV

Home Alone

My host family left to Uganda today. They will return on Sunday. That means that "baba mkubwa" (big daddy) has the house to himself and can party all he wants! Instead of getting up at seven and studying till five in the evening, I can get up at seven and study for as long as I want - even to nine in the evening if I want to. Later, I might treat myself with a glass of whisky and a game of darts with my friend Jani (on the left).

An Unforgettable Dinner

If ever the platitude "a picture speaks more than a thousand words" applies, it does so here. What in the world is happening in this picture?

We'll, we've been on the deserted island for way over a month by this time. Almost everyone's lost a lot of weight. The competition that preluded this (brim-)full-course meal involved oily liquid, as those of you with keen eyes can notice. We had to transfer a lot of melted butter in our mouths. Anyway, the two best competitors (Markku on the left) were entitled to -- get this -- a four-hour Roman style dinner on the beach under the evening sun, accompanied by a private chef (I don't know where they got him from), real chairs, a grill, and -- get this too -- the remaining competitors chained to a bench a few feet away from the table. They had to witness the entire feast without a bite (we offered the meal to them, but the production crew didn't allow it). The women -- Jasna, Mira, and Elena -- were really good sport about it. In fact they gave us some culinary suggestions.

And boy did we have a lot to choose from. You can see rye bread, white bread, cheese and other toppings, eggs, beef and pork and chicken in various different forms, olives, potatoes, sausages (HK sininen all the way from Finland!), fish (silli etc.), rice, sauces, most fruits you can name, and so on. For drinks we had water, beer, red wine, white wine, mineral water, club sodas, and (naturally) whisky and brandy. For dessert -- well we started the whole meal with strawberry ice-cream so it wouldn't melt, but in addition to that we had chocolates (managed so smuggle a few for the women), cakes, and Cuban cigars.

Every fifteen minutes we'd take a "break" (=run into the jungle, our bodies weren't used to food), and all through the next night I wanted to throw up but refused to on grounds of "not wasting it". Really, an unforgettable experience. One of the many we experienced during those 44 incredible days (summer of 2005).