Proofs of God's Existence -- Part I

I've gathered a few knock-em-down arguments for the existence of God. They're quite intellectual, and some are more convincing than others. Now go and impress your friends.

1. MODAL ONTOLOGICAL ARGUMENT
(1) God is either necessary or unnecessary.
(2) God is not unnecessary, therefore God must be necessary.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

2. MORAL ARGUMENT
(1) In my younger days I was a cursing, drinking, smoking, gambling, thieving, murdering, bed-wetting bastard.
(2) That all changed when I became religious.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

3. ARGUMENT FROM THE BIBLE
(1) (arbitrary passage from OT)
(2) (arbitrary passage from NT)
(3) Therefore, God exists.

4. ARGUMENT FROM INTELLIGENCE
(1) Look, there's really no point in my trying to explain the whole thing to you stupid Atheists -- it's too complicated for you to understand. God exists whether you like it or not.
(2) Therefore, God exists.

5. ARGUMENT FROM BELIEF
(1) If God exists, then I should believe in Him.
(2) I believe in God.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

6. ARGUMENT FROM INTIMIDATION
(1) See this bonfire?
(2) Therefore, God exists.

7. ARGUMENT FROM GUITAR MASTERY
(1) Eric Clapton is God.
(2) Therefore, God exists.

8. ARGUMENT FROM INTERNET AUTHORITY
(1) There is a website that successfully argues for the existence of God.
(2) Here is the URL.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

9. ARGUMENT FROM INCOMPREHENSIBILITY
(1) Flabble glurk zoom boink blubba snurgleschnortz ping!
(2) No one has ever refuted (1).
(3) Therefore, God exists.

10. ARGUMENT FROM LOVE
(1) God is love.
(2) Love is blind.
(3) Stevie Wonder is blind.
(4) Therefore, Stevie Wonder is God.
(5) Therefore, God exists.