Proofs of God's Existence -- Part III

(The Atheist-bashing ends.)

1. ARGUMENT FROM PRESIDENTIAL IGNORANCE
(1) If I ask God to blesserize Texas, nobody'll mess with it.
(2) Nobody messes with Texas.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

2. ARGUMENT FROM C.S. LEWIS
(1) C.S. Lewis had a lot of good arguments in favour of Christianity ... at least that's what all my Christian friends tell me...
(2) C.S. Lewis wrote some popular books too!
(3) Therefore, God exists.

3. ARGUMENT FROM CHRISTIAN EXPERTS ARE IGNORED
(1) Dembski, Behe, Kreeft, Graig and Plantinga are ignored by mainstream intellectuals.
(2) Only a fear of the truth could explain this.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

4. ARGUMENT FROM CHRISTIAN EXPERTS ARE NOT IGNORED
(1) Mainstream intellectuals are paying some attention to Dembski, Bene, Kreeft, Graig and Plantinga.
(2) Only a growing recognition of the truth could explain this.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

5. ARGUMENT FROM THE BIBLE (II)
(1) The Bible says the Bible is true.
(2) Therefore the Bible is true.
(3) The Bible says God exists.
(4) Therefore, God exists.

6. ARGUMENT FROM UNTRANSLATED OLD FRENCH
(1) "Mais pourceque j'avois déjà connu en moi très clairement que la nature intelligente est distincte de la corporelle; connsidérant que toute composition témoigne de la dépendance, et que la dépendance est manifestement un défaut, je jugeois de là que ce ne pouvoit être une perfection en Dieu d'être composé de ces deux natures, et que par conséquent il ne l'étoit pas; mais que s'il y avoit quelques corpos dans le monde, ou bien quelques intelligences ou autres natures qui ne fussent point totutes parfaites, leur être devoit dépendre de sa puissance, en telle sorte quelles ne pouvoient subsister sans lui un seul moment." -- René Descartes, Discours de la Méthode
(2) How could you possibly refute that?
(3) Therefore, God exists.

7. ARGUMENT FROM YOUTH GROUP MINISTER
(1) God is awesome!
(2) Like, totally, dude!
(3) Therefore, God exists.

8. ...

Actually, I found 300 so-called "Proof's of God's Existence" from the Atheists of Silicon Valley Humor Page, but the rest weren't very funny. In fact, many of them are solid -- really, no joking -- solid arguments for God's existence, that were just modified a little to sound absurd. And, oddly enough, sometimes after the modification they still sounded solid and not absurd!

I think I will post ten of each of these two types: ten the ones that are solid but twisted, and ten of the ones that are solid, unsuccessfully twisted and not funny.