Proofs of God's Existence -- Part II

(The Atheist-bashing continues.)

1. ARGUMENT FROM MANIFESTATIONS
(1) If you turn your head sideways and squint a little, you can see an image of a bearded man in that tortilla.
(2) Therefore, God exists.

2. ARGUMENT FROM NON-BELIEF
(1) The majority of the world's population are nonbelievers in Christianity.
(2) That is just what Satan intended.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

3. ARGUMENT FROM INCOHERENT BABBLE
(1) See that person spazzing on the church floor babbling incoherently?
(2) That is how infinite wisdom reveals itself.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

4. CALVINIST ARGUMENT
(1) If God exists, then he will let me watch you be tortured forever.
(2) I rather like that idea.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

5. PEACOCK ARGUMENT FROM ORIGINALITY
(1) I have written the following to demonstrate the existence of God.
(2) (insert entire text of a William Lane Graig article)
(3) Therefore, God exists.

6. ARGUMENT FROM TEEN CHRISTIAN MOVEMENT
(1) God is so totally awesome, dude, and if you would pretend that Creed and POD were good bands, you would realize that.
(2) Also, our Youth Group leader Skip once, like, cured a broken leg using only the power of the almighty Lord.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

7. ARGUMENT FROM PRAYER
(1) God exists.
(Atheist makes counterarguments)
(2) You have my prayers.

8. ARGUMENT FROM SPAGHETTI
(1) A few people saw something weird in a bowl of spaghetti.
(2) Some Catholics believe it is the Virgin Mary.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

9. ARGUMENT FROM THE FOUNDING FATHERS
(1) The Declaration of Independence includes the words "God" and "Creator".
(2) Only a Christian would include the words "God" and "Creator".
(3) Therefore the US is a Christian Nation.
(4) A Christian Nation couldn't last over 200 years without God's help.
(5) Therefore, God exists.

10. ARGUMENT FROM INVISIBLITY
(1) God is invisible.
(2) I can't see God.
(3) Therefore, God exists.