Philosophy = Intellectual Masturbation?

Some time ago, an American Catholic friend of mine described “most of today's philosophy” as “intellectual masturbation”. He used to major in philosophy himself, so his comment could not be ignored as “low brow” Christian prejudice. I went home thinking about that idea: philosophy as intellectual masturbation.

On a certain level it made sense. As masturbation is sexual but not sex (rather a perversion of sex that excludes love, the other person, intercourse and potential life), shallow philosophy can be called rational but not “true” philosophy (rather a perversion of philosophy that excludes e.g. morality, absolute ideas, personal commitment and the like). I am thinking mainly of a shallow philosophy following Descartes' heritage: intellectualism, Cogito ergo sum (“I think, therefore I am”). If you can't prove it rationally, reject it, or treat it with utmost suspicion. This leaves out many essential things, like love and intuition.

I shared my friend's comment with another friend, who immediately came up with an additional resemblance between modern philosophy and masturbation (sorry for repeating this word over and over again). Masturbation culminates in orgasm. This brings pleasure to the act. Similarly, philosophical thinking may result in small “orgasmic” victories, for instance, in arguments or in developing new philosophical theories - which are later praised by the philosophical intelligentsia or their semi-philosophical audience.

But this analogy seems to hold for theology too. It is not difficult to imagine similar pleasures derived from debates on biblical or doctrinal issues between competing theologians or self-proclaimed leaders of different denominations. (One might argue, though quite unjustifiably of course!, that this blog is likewise going to turn into one long “philosophical program”, in the analogous sense, that is...)